What a difference a day (or 3 weeks) makes...

WOO!!!  Guess who is back?!

This guy! Well, not Leo, but ME!  Fat-Man-DO!

That's right! It's time to get back in the saddle and hit the blogosphere with my workout missives!

I needed to take some time off. Well, that's not entirely true. You NEVER need to take time off from being healthy and whatnot... but I was in a bad headspace for a while and I needed a reset so to speak.

So now, after nearly 3 weeks of inactivity and a REALLY poor diet of candy, carbs, and and more carbs.... with a side of carbs and a healthy sprinkling of carb-related sprinkles... I'm ready to get back out there and do the thing!

Let's just call it what it is - I was being lazy for a few weeks and enjoying the sweet, sweet reward of instant gratification through eating.

Always easier said than done, I know... but still. This time I have a new workout partner... my lovely wife. (Seen here eating some noodles.) She's decided to give it a go and we will be starting a new journey together tomorrow morning at 6:00am.

I'm not actually sure when the last time is that she was awake at 6:00am... but we're doing this! (She is not a morning person... but I love her anyway)

I will not be relying on a scale for this. I no longer care what I weigh... more or less. I just know that I want to FEEL better... and my body should be able to do that one way or another. Honestly - I feel pretty freaking great right now. I've been sleeping, more or less, well for the last few weeks. My diet hasn't been AS bad as I've let on above.  I have had too many donuts and potato chips... but I've pretty much stuck to similar eating habits I've developed in the past 6 months. I'm going to call that a win.

Progress, for me anyway, will be tracked by improvements on certain abilities, measurements, stamina, and just how good or bad I feel overall... which, like I said before, I feel pretty great these days. Might just be the warm, spring air... but who knows.

With that, I welcome you all back to my journey!!  Wish me US luck!!

Energy!!

I feel like I am about to write some "Food Babe" bullshit post about crystals and cosmic alignment - but I assure you, this will not happen.

Ever.

Following a lackluster 2-week stint of cowering on the couch I finally made a somewhat triumphant return to the gym this week. And the energy level was good!

It's difficult to maintain that positive energy sometimes. And when you lack energy - they last thing you want to do is go strain your muscles at the gym. And I mean the cardio killed me. I had no desire, no energy and a big middle-finger for that stair-machine....

But, what can I do to get a boost on the energy?  I mean - other than energy drinks, speed, meth, and cocaine? 

Well...

• Sleep
• Clean eating
• Less (or no) alcohol 
• Eliminating stress 
• Yoga
• Crystals....Wait... No... Not this. 

Sleep - It's important... and I think we all know this. But, at the same time, we're all human and have other things to do. So, as much as we would LOVE to sleep more... sometimes that's not going to happen unless we cut some other things out of our lives. For example - I could go to bed at 10:00 instead of staying up until midnight to watch Handmaid's Tale on Hulu... but I don't WANT to...

Clean Eating - This could also be said as "balanced" eating. You need to know how much fuel your body needs... and know that that 20 Twinkies might be awesome - but it's shit. Protein, Carbs, Fat - and in the proper ratios... get your macros right. (Jazz hands!!!)

Alcohol Consumption - Well, shit. Here we are again... I wish I knew how to quit you. What?  Don't judge. I'm a bourbon guy. And a whiskey guy. And a gin guy... and tequila... probably vodka too... occasionally beer. And sometimes when I'm staying up until midnight watching Offred take on the patriarchy, I like to have some bourbon! This is my vice. My kryptonite. My final boss stage weakness... my... one vestigial crutch upon which I lean that will probably prevent me from ever being "super fit and healthy" - who knows.  All I know is that I'd probably have a much better, consistent, energy level at the gym if I maybe cut back on the bourbon.



Eliminating Stress - HAAAAA!!!!HAAAAAAA!  Seriously - if you know any person who has found found a legit way to rid their life of stress that doesn't involve millions of dollars, or lack of kids, or some phrase along the lines of "Then I quit my job" crap - I'll be all ears.

Seriously... all ears.

Yoga - Just kidding. I've tried Yoga... all it has done for me is make me want to murder people. And I think that goes against my "try to have LESS stress" thing.

My point to this rambling post is that if you're not paying attention to all of the things in your life - you can't have the energy you need to go to the gym and be a better person. I know that in 1 week of eating poorly, drinking too much, and sleeping about 3 hours a night - I gained 3-5 lbs and felt like shit. Not cool. SO, It's back to all things being in moderation, making the sacrifices needed to see/be the change I need...

Until Next Time - Stay positive, keep the energy up!

Slow change is better than NO change...

Sometimes I get down on myself and don't think I'm making any progress. I mean that - very sincerely. It sucks. I go to the gym and I see other people there and I can see the changes in them happening every day I come back to the gym - then I look at myself and I just don't see anything... Just the same chubby, old me...

Then Facebook's 'memory' bullshit comes to the rescue and sends me a photo from 2011... And BAM... just like that - I can see some change.

March 20, 2011 vs March 20, 2018

It makes me feel better. I still feel MILES away from where I want to be - but it was enough to brighten up my rainy Tuesday morning.

Happy first day of Spring, everyone!

Until Next Time - Keep on Keepin' On!

PTSD - It's what's for dinner.

It's easier to go to the gym and tend to our bodies than it is to tend to our minds.... or at least that is MY opinion. And Right now - I'm going to venture into the land of 'WAY too much personal information" segment of our blog...

I suffer from PTSD due to some of the times and adventures I had back in my younger, Army days... and I, more or less, live with it these days and things are "okay" - but there are certain, special times of the year that it comes in swinging... like a wrecking ball to quote a shitty, shitty song.

The problems associated with PTSD and PHYSICAL fitness are many... but, to me at least, the big ones are the lack of sleep, lack of motivation, and withdrawing from other people and social settings. Because, let's face it - if you add those things up - the last place you want to go is the gym.

On top of that - there is the occasional misuse of certain substances... namely alcohol. I've already talked about that (here in this post). It is used as a method to combat some of the effects brought about by PTSD - mainly anxiety and, in some cases, the lack of sleep. Or, you know... so I've heard.

So - not sleeping, being all pissy, and not wanting to interact with people can do a number on you. I've put on 4 lbs in the last week because I've been stress-eating, drinking too much alcohol, not sleeping, and skipping the gym. It's not cool.

When it comes to anything dealing with your brain - it is best to seek out professional help... But, if you are anything like me, you don't like doing that. Which isn't a problem, per se, it just means you need to stop, look at your situation as a whole, and do some serious soul-searching. It's often difficult to tell when you're in a position of potential harm to yourself - or possibly others. And if that point is reached - it becomes far more than just  missing the gym.... SO - if you suffer from PTSD... seek help. It's okay to do so. We have such a stigma in this country for mental health and mental well-being. It's not a bad thing if someone has PTSD...


Now - on a personal level - 

Most people - these days - associate this with soldiers and warfare. We have a LOT of vets with PTSD. And, as a result, people think that "Oh, he just doesn't like loud noises" or "he gets moody around people." or "He just has bad dreams..."

 And while these things ARE true... they are certainly not the only reactions to PTSD... it can, and does, rear its ugly head in a LOT of different ways....

Signs and Symptoms of PTSD:

• Nightmares ✓
• Anger, Rage, and/or Irritability ✓
• Depression ✓
• Loss of Self-Esteem ✓ **
• Difficulty  in Trusting Others✓ **
• Guilt ✓ **
• Trouble Sleeping ✓
• Substance Abuse ✓
• Isolation and Alienation From Others ✓
• Persistent Memories ✓
• Anxiety ✓
• Heightened Sense of Danger ✓
• Hyper Alertness or Startle Response Changes ✓

Out of this list - I put a "✓"next to all of the ones that have affected me at one point or another... You'll probably note that I put it next to all of them - because it's true.  And I put ** next to some of the ones I feel most people don't associate with PTSD. And those are the ones that are tricky. The VA counselors were all really big on "nightmares, substance abuse, sleeplessness, and anger" - but I was personally never really told to be aware of those "**" symptoms... and let me tell you - they suck ass.

It's one thing to have a bad dream and be on edge... it's an entirely different thing to develop severe trust issues in your friends and loved ones... it's an entirely different thing to wake up and feel completely worthless for no apparent reason. Even though I can say "Hey, this isn't true. This is just the PTSD talking" - it doesn't get through.

Imagine this: 
It's like drinking a coke, but tasting poison. You can SEE it's a Coke. You KNOW it's a Coke... but regardless of the knowledge - your brain says "nope. It's poison". It takes the people in your life to say to you that "No, it's Coke." and then - it tastes like Coke. But they have to keep reassuring you that it's Coke and not poison... I'll eventually remember that it's coke, but I might need you to just hang out with me until I do. 

This is the most apt representation I can find for PTSD moments

It's difficult to talk about this shit... so I hope I didn't ramble too much.

One last note -

PTSD does not mean "be on egg shells with me" - It just means that if I do have a moment - help me remember that it's Coke... not poison.

I can't say that this is the same for everyone I know with PTSD... but it is with me.


Until Next Time - Get your head on right and get to the gym!

Sleep Deprivation...

Not really a good post... but I just wanted to say that I HATE Daylight Saving Time.

HATE.

IT.

That hurts... is that supposed to hurt?

Every now and then I'll work out a little harder than I probably should, go home, shower, and go to bed... thus resulting in almost crippling body aches the next morning for not properly stretching out my muscles before sleep...

So... yeah. This morning I'm moving around like an octogenarian... I need to remember to take my time at the end of my workouts and properly stretch out before bed or else I'll be unable to go to the gym all together. And that would be bad. 

Until Next Time - Stretch out!

I'm terrible at being a Gym-Bro

I don't get it... the idea of going to the gym to socialize, hang out, share your problems with strangers... It's weird to me. Maybe it's because I generally don't like people?  I don't know. I'm kind of a nerd - and people generally give me anxiety.

What I DO know - is I'm terrible at the "Sup, bro?!" thing at the gym. If you want to talk to me at the gym you have exactly 90 seconds between sets and 120 seconds between exercises. I will gladly talk to you then.  But I do not want to stand there and talk to you about your diet or workout plan for 15 minutes while my heartbeat returns to a resting rate and I lose all of my motivation. Sorry.

If you want to talk - get a gym-buddy or a workout partner. You can talk to that person while you workout and help motivate one another... that's what they're there for!

The gym is where I go to work off fat and anger while I build muscle. I have no desire to make new friends with people whose names I don't know.

I'm sorry - this sounds angry and whiny - but I assure you, it's not. It's just an observation.


Until Next Time - Don't bother the people with headphones in at the gym.