What a difference a day (or 3 weeks) makes...

WOO!!!  Guess who is back?!

This guy! Well, not Leo, but ME!  Fat-Man-DO!

That's right! It's time to get back in the saddle and hit the blogosphere with my workout missives!

I needed to take some time off. Well, that's not entirely true. You NEVER need to take time off from being healthy and whatnot... but I was in a bad headspace for a while and I needed a reset so to speak.

So now, after nearly 3 weeks of inactivity and a REALLY poor diet of candy, carbs, and and more carbs.... with a side of carbs and a healthy sprinkling of carb-related sprinkles... I'm ready to get back out there and do the thing!

Let's just call it what it is - I was being lazy for a few weeks and enjoying the sweet, sweet reward of instant gratification through eating.

Always easier said than done, I know... but still. This time I have a new workout partner... my lovely wife. (Seen here eating some noodles.) She's decided to give it a go and we will be starting a new journey together tomorrow morning at 6:00am.

I'm not actually sure when the last time is that she was awake at 6:00am... but we're doing this! (She is not a morning person... but I love her anyway)

I will not be relying on a scale for this. I no longer care what I weigh... more or less. I just know that I want to FEEL better... and my body should be able to do that one way or another. Honestly - I feel pretty freaking great right now. I've been sleeping, more or less, well for the last few weeks. My diet hasn't been AS bad as I've let on above.  I have had too many donuts and potato chips... but I've pretty much stuck to similar eating habits I've developed in the past 6 months. I'm going to call that a win.

Progress, for me anyway, will be tracked by improvements on certain abilities, measurements, stamina, and just how good or bad I feel overall... which, like I said before, I feel pretty great these days. Might just be the warm, spring air... but who knows.

With that, I welcome you all back to my journey!!  Wish me US luck!!

Energy!!

I feel like I am about to write some "Food Babe" bullshit post about crystals and cosmic alignment - but I assure you, this will not happen.

Ever.

Following a lackluster 2-week stint of cowering on the couch I finally made a somewhat triumphant return to the gym this week. And the energy level was good!

It's difficult to maintain that positive energy sometimes. And when you lack energy - they last thing you want to do is go strain your muscles at the gym. And I mean the cardio killed me. I had no desire, no energy and a big middle-finger for that stair-machine....

But, what can I do to get a boost on the energy?  I mean - other than energy drinks, speed, meth, and cocaine? 

Well...

• Sleep
• Clean eating
• Less (or no) alcohol 
• Eliminating stress 
• Yoga
• Crystals....Wait... No... Not this. 

Sleep - It's important... and I think we all know this. But, at the same time, we're all human and have other things to do. So, as much as we would LOVE to sleep more... sometimes that's not going to happen unless we cut some other things out of our lives. For example - I could go to bed at 10:00 instead of staying up until midnight to watch Handmaid's Tale on Hulu... but I don't WANT to...

Clean Eating - This could also be said as "balanced" eating. You need to know how much fuel your body needs... and know that that 20 Twinkies might be awesome - but it's shit. Protein, Carbs, Fat - and in the proper ratios... get your macros right. (Jazz hands!!!)

Alcohol Consumption - Well, shit. Here we are again... I wish I knew how to quit you. What?  Don't judge. I'm a bourbon guy. And a whiskey guy. And a gin guy... and tequila... probably vodka too... occasionally beer. And sometimes when I'm staying up until midnight watching Offred take on the patriarchy, I like to have some bourbon! This is my vice. My kryptonite. My final boss stage weakness... my... one vestigial crutch upon which I lean that will probably prevent me from ever being "super fit and healthy" - who knows.  All I know is that I'd probably have a much better, consistent, energy level at the gym if I maybe cut back on the bourbon.



Eliminating Stress - HAAAAA!!!!HAAAAAAA!  Seriously - if you know any person who has found found a legit way to rid their life of stress that doesn't involve millions of dollars, or lack of kids, or some phrase along the lines of "Then I quit my job" crap - I'll be all ears.

Seriously... all ears.

Yoga - Just kidding. I've tried Yoga... all it has done for me is make me want to murder people. And I think that goes against my "try to have LESS stress" thing.

My point to this rambling post is that if you're not paying attention to all of the things in your life - you can't have the energy you need to go to the gym and be a better person. I know that in 1 week of eating poorly, drinking too much, and sleeping about 3 hours a night - I gained 3-5 lbs and felt like shit. Not cool. SO, It's back to all things being in moderation, making the sacrifices needed to see/be the change I need...

Until Next Time - Stay positive, keep the energy up!

So... WTF is a Macro??

Buckle-up, readers... it's a long one... a little "light reading" before the weekend.

I have spent the last... 3 months or so FOREVER reading up on nutrition. Words like MACROS! and Keto! Low-Carb, high-fat, SUPER PROTEIN!!!  All get tossed around like we're in some sort of political commercial for food. From what I gather - you can basically lose weight by doing about 8,000 different things and nobody has 1 specific way of doing things - or at least no good way that they’ll all agree on. 

But the thing I've been trying to wrap my head around is the idea of:  “What the Fuck is a macro and why should I care?”

Before we dive into that - We will need to figure out a few things about ourselves first. Like - what body type am I?

This is GROSSLY oversimplified... but it'll work for now

Ectomorph - Tall and lanky, difficult to gain fat
Mesomorph - Lean, gains muscle easily
Endomorph - Big, straight bodied/pear shaped, gains fat easily - difficult to gain muscle

I am 100% Endomorph... I'm a big rectangle with a head on it.

Endomorphs store fat easily and should avoid carbs like pasta and white bread. Luckily I'm already a whole grain person. So a low-carb diet with some whole grains is perfect!

But, aren't carbs energy? If you're not eating carbs for energy... what does that leave? 

Protein... and Fat.

Calories come from the macronutrients (and alcohol) - I need to find the appropriate ratio of macronutrients to support my end goal of calorie intake vs overall plan. Those macronutrients are: Carbs, Fats, and Proteins.

• One gram of protein yields 4 calories.
• One gram of carbohydrate yields 4 calories.
• One gram of fat yields 9 calories.
• One gram of alcohol yields 7 calories.

Fat is an essential nutrient that our bodies require to live; it assists in vitamin absorption, hormone regulation, brain function, and more.

Protein intake will help build muscle and/or prevent muscle loss if you are in a calorie deficit.  It controls appetite and staves off hunger better than fats or carbs as it causes you to feel full longer.

Carbs are stored in the liver, brain, blood and muscles as glycogen. Our bodies use carbohydrates for energy.

So - there it is. Holy trinity of body requirements (at least the ones that aren’t water, sunlight, and oxygen)... BUT... in which quantities do I eat these things?  33-33-33? 40-20-40? 60-20-20??? 

OH GOD!! SO MANY OPTIONS!!! WHAT DO I DO!!?

I have to ask myself - “Self, what is your goal?” - Then I whine about how I want to eat ice cream and pizza and magically get a 6-pack.... BUT... then it turns out my ACTUAL goal is to lose fat, maintain muscle, and not become a beefy muscle-head.

Sounds easy enough... right?

Based on what I have researched - my body weight, age and overall daily activity level should require around 2,362 calories for daily maintenance - and to lose the weight I'd like to lose, I'd need to cut that down to 1,862 calories a day... but what about the almighty MACRO breakdown? 

The “If It Fits Your Macros” people are all over the place... Some say you can eat as much as you want - so long as it is within your Macro range. Others say that everything that enters your body must be macro-perfect...  There is “Low-Carb” “Moderate Carb” “Ratios for cutting” and “Ratios for bulking”... I mean, seriously, there are a lot of different rations and everyone I’ve talked to has given me their opinion on what I should eat. And while I do appreciate their opinions - I’m not looking to bulk up and I’m not looking to get “shredded” - I just want to drop some fat, maintain and build lean muscle, and not die going up the stairs.

So - I’m choosing a low-carb approach with a high protein and higher fat content for my daily macro counts. This is, in theory, a macronutrient ratio that will help me to maximize fat loss while not sacrificing muscle growth.  Will it work?  Fuck if I know!

For a 1,862 calorie/day diet - I am planning on actually running this with 40% Protein, 40% Fats and only 20% Carbs... So, on a daily average I’ll get: 186g of protein, 83g of fat and 93g of carbs...

Which is a pain in the ass to try and do. I’ve spent hours adding food to MyFitnessPal in various configurations and amounts trying to find some way to remain fed - while still meeting these “MACROS” - I also feel that whenever someone says that word it should be with jazzhands or something - and I know it seems counterintuitive to eat more fat, but it works. When your body lacks carbs, which it stores as fat, it burns fat. So - you give it fat to burn to basically "teach" your body to burn fat. This is Ketosis - the state in which your body burns fat and releases Ketones into your blood.  Ketones are the byproducts of the body breaking down fat for energy that occurs when carbohydrate intake is low.

And to date - it's actually been working.

HOWEVER... LOW CARB DIETS RESULTING IN KETOSIS WILL RESULT IN HALITOSIS... Like... seriously. You'll need some gum.

ANYWAY... I think I’ve found a good starting point. My dietary needs for the coming weeks are being looked at... and my hope is, by the start of April, to be at or below 220 lbs... 

Until Next Time - EAT MORE PROTEIN!!! 

Your Body Is A Car... And You're On a Roadtrip

And now... story time...

Fitness - and the desire to be a healthier person - is much like a cross country road-trip.... but in a busted, broken down car that you can't get rid of.


Close your eyes and imagine - You can't read with your eyes closed, I get that - but go with it, okay?

Imagine that you want to pick up from where you are now and go to someplace better. You can see it in your mind and it's glorious... You've seen photos of other people who are there. They seem happy. They seem carefree... But they're so far away and all you have is a shitty, rundown car that has been neglected for 12 years or so.

You jump in, fire it up and BAM! - you only go 3 feet on your first day.

You realize you can't do this without new tires - so you get new tires. And then you go 2 miles - and realize the oil is crap, so you replace the oil... then the fuel, then the plugs, and everything else that goes into the car until you are feeding the car the fuel it needs to run, keeping the fluids in check, and making sure everything stays together... overcoming years of bad habits and cheap gas.

You can't replace the car - it's the only one you've got. But you can put better things in it, you can outfit it for the trip and get moving... you can slowly move from where you are to where you want to be. Some days you'll have breakdowns and some days you'll find that awesome, big-ass hill to go down that takes you so far and so fast you think it'll fall apart...

You just have to learn to be a mechanic... you have to learn to enjoy the trip. You have to learn to accept that nothing happens over night.

Getting there isn't going to happen today. It might not even happen this year. But every day is one little bit closer to where you need to be.

Cardio! It's what's for dinner!

Holy... cow.

After tonight's weight-lifting session we decided to add a small, 10 minute, cardio session to our workout.

Well... 4 minutes of Tabata Box-Jump - Jump up on the box, then down for 20 seconds, then rest for 10 seconds, then repeat for 4 minutes... and I was about dead. Not really - but I could feel the years of overeating and smoking. After that, we did Tabata Wall-Ball - weighted medicine ball tossed up about 10' on the wall, catch it when it comes down and go into a squat, then explode out of the squat and throw the ball back up... we did that for 20 on/20 off... 

I love doing cardio... even though I hate it. 

Cardio and I are somewhere in this range...

Ah well - it'll help, right?

I plan on doing more cardio... not enough to kill my muscles, but enough to help trim some of the fat. I'm really starting to see a difference in my body... my stomach doesn't stick out as far, some of my shirts are fitting better, and I feel better. Well - I feel better as long as I'm not dying of the plague that everyone keeps passing back and forth this winter.

So - There ya go, dear internet, fun time with sweat and weight loss.

Until next time - be better!