PTSD - It's what's for dinner.

It's easier to go to the gym and tend to our bodies than it is to tend to our minds.... or at least that is MY opinion. And Right now - I'm going to venture into the land of 'WAY too much personal information" segment of our blog...

I suffer from PTSD due to some of the times and adventures I had back in my younger, Army days... and I, more or less, live with it these days and things are "okay" - but there are certain, special times of the year that it comes in swinging... like a wrecking ball to quote a shitty, shitty song.

The problems associated with PTSD and PHYSICAL fitness are many... but, to me at least, the big ones are the lack of sleep, lack of motivation, and withdrawing from other people and social settings. Because, let's face it - if you add those things up - the last place you want to go is the gym.

On top of that - there is the occasional misuse of certain substances... namely alcohol. I've already talked about that (here in this post). It is used as a method to combat some of the effects brought about by PTSD - mainly anxiety and, in some cases, the lack of sleep. Or, you know... so I've heard.

So - not sleeping, being all pissy, and not wanting to interact with people can do a number on you. I've put on 4 lbs in the last week because I've been stress-eating, drinking too much alcohol, not sleeping, and skipping the gym. It's not cool.

When it comes to anything dealing with your brain - it is best to seek out professional help... But, if you are anything like me, you don't like doing that. Which isn't a problem, per se, it just means you need to stop, look at your situation as a whole, and do some serious soul-searching. It's often difficult to tell when you're in a position of potential harm to yourself - or possibly others. And if that point is reached - it becomes far more than just  missing the gym.... SO - if you suffer from PTSD... seek help. It's okay to do so. We have such a stigma in this country for mental health and mental well-being. It's not a bad thing if someone has PTSD...


Now - on a personal level - 

Most people - these days - associate this with soldiers and warfare. We have a LOT of vets with PTSD. And, as a result, people think that "Oh, he just doesn't like loud noises" or "he gets moody around people." or "He just has bad dreams..."

 And while these things ARE true... they are certainly not the only reactions to PTSD... it can, and does, rear its ugly head in a LOT of different ways....

Signs and Symptoms of PTSD:

• Nightmares ✓
• Anger, Rage, and/or Irritability ✓
• Depression ✓
• Loss of Self-Esteem ✓ **
• Difficulty  in Trusting Others✓ **
• Guilt ✓ **
• Trouble Sleeping ✓
• Substance Abuse ✓
• Isolation and Alienation From Others ✓
• Persistent Memories ✓
• Anxiety ✓
• Heightened Sense of Danger ✓
• Hyper Alertness or Startle Response Changes ✓

Out of this list - I put a "✓"next to all of the ones that have affected me at one point or another... You'll probably note that I put it next to all of them - because it's true.  And I put ** next to some of the ones I feel most people don't associate with PTSD. And those are the ones that are tricky. The VA counselors were all really big on "nightmares, substance abuse, sleeplessness, and anger" - but I was personally never really told to be aware of those "**" symptoms... and let me tell you - they suck ass.

It's one thing to have a bad dream and be on edge... it's an entirely different thing to develop severe trust issues in your friends and loved ones... it's an entirely different thing to wake up and feel completely worthless for no apparent reason. Even though I can say "Hey, this isn't true. This is just the PTSD talking" - it doesn't get through.

Imagine this: 
It's like drinking a coke, but tasting poison. You can SEE it's a Coke. You KNOW it's a Coke... but regardless of the knowledge - your brain says "nope. It's poison". It takes the people in your life to say to you that "No, it's Coke." and then - it tastes like Coke. But they have to keep reassuring you that it's Coke and not poison... I'll eventually remember that it's coke, but I might need you to just hang out with me until I do. 

This is the most apt representation I can find for PTSD moments

It's difficult to talk about this shit... so I hope I didn't ramble too much.

One last note -

PTSD does not mean "be on egg shells with me" - It just means that if I do have a moment - help me remember that it's Coke... not poison.

I can't say that this is the same for everyone I know with PTSD... but it is with me.


Until Next Time - Get your head on right and get to the gym!

The importance of SLEEP

If ONLY I could sleep on a regular basis... I'd probably be happy, healthy, and super fit by now. But, as it stands, I often spend many nights awake, staring at my clock as I watch the minutes tick by...

Last night I watched my clock go from 10:15 all the way until 1:45...

Not sleeping is bad for you, Mkay?

I need to sleep better. Sleep is important in a LOT of ways. According to Harvard Medical School -"Chronic sleep deprivation may cause weight gain by affecting the way our bodies process and store carbohydrates, and by altering levels of hormones that affect our appetite." And, it you're trying to lose weight and get healthy - that's bad for you.

Sleep loss may result in irritability, impatience, inability to concentrate, and moodiness - which, could then keep you from going to the gym... or help you order that large, comforting pizza instead of the fish and broccoli... Sleep disorders have been linked to hypertension, increased stress hormone levels, and irregular heartbeat. It also alters immune function.

So - try to get a full night of sleep. Adjust your schedule, relax, and see if that helps you out.

Until next time - get some rest!

Your Body Is A Car... And You're On a Roadtrip

And now... story time...

Fitness - and the desire to be a healthier person - is much like a cross country road-trip.... but in a busted, broken down car that you can't get rid of.


Close your eyes and imagine - You can't read with your eyes closed, I get that - but go with it, okay?

Imagine that you want to pick up from where you are now and go to someplace better. You can see it in your mind and it's glorious... You've seen photos of other people who are there. They seem happy. They seem carefree... But they're so far away and all you have is a shitty, rundown car that has been neglected for 12 years or so.

You jump in, fire it up and BAM! - you only go 3 feet on your first day.

You realize you can't do this without new tires - so you get new tires. And then you go 2 miles - and realize the oil is crap, so you replace the oil... then the fuel, then the plugs, and everything else that goes into the car until you are feeding the car the fuel it needs to run, keeping the fluids in check, and making sure everything stays together... overcoming years of bad habits and cheap gas.

You can't replace the car - it's the only one you've got. But you can put better things in it, you can outfit it for the trip and get moving... you can slowly move from where you are to where you want to be. Some days you'll have breakdowns and some days you'll find that awesome, big-ass hill to go down that takes you so far and so fast you think it'll fall apart...

You just have to learn to be a mechanic... you have to learn to enjoy the trip. You have to learn to accept that nothing happens over night.

Getting there isn't going to happen today. It might not even happen this year. But every day is one little bit closer to where you need to be.

Getting fat on Fat Tuesday

Ah... Mardi Gras... or "Fat Tuesday" in the vernacular... is the day before Ash Wednesday and the start of the Catholic Lenten Season of fasting and something... Sorry, I'm not Catholic so I don't know what all goes on other than a lot of commercials for fish and a lot of people swearing off of sweets and or Facebook until Easter.

Anyway.... I DO love traditions, though. And I'm a sucker for sugary cakes. So, I bring in a King Cake every year on Fat Tuesday and share... and I ate a piece and it WAS AMAZING.  It was, in one bite, more sugar than I've consumed in a month. Which means I've totally blown my carb intake for the day week... but it was good - And totally worth it.

But that's the point of my post today - It is totally acceptable to occasionally indulge in your sweet tooth.

Let me say that again. Slower. And with emphasis on the proper words:

It is totally acceptable to occasionally indulge in your sweet tooth.

This means that, from time to time, you can eat that piece of cake or chocolate and not freak out about it. As long as it is A: OCCASIONALLY and B: In moderation. It does not mean "Oh man, what a fun workout - I'm going to eat this whole cake today because I earned it." or "I've lost 1 lb this month - I've earned a 3,000 calorie Frappaccino every day this week."  It DOES mean that once every 3 weeks or so - I'll eat something that totally blows my calorie and carb count out for a day... and that's it. I'll enjoy it, it's good, and then it's gone. Allow me to think back to that post where I talk about it NOT being a diet and being a decision to live a better/healthier life... That's it! You can be healthy and still eat sugar from time to time.

Unless you're allergic to sugar - and that would just be awful.



So - there ya go, kids!  Enjoy your Fat Tuesday... but remember that it's one day - and next week you're back to FIT Tuesday

Getting off of you A** and doing something...

Yesterday was Sunday - which is the first night of my weekly gym trips, and I... didn't want to go. True story.

I spent all afternoon on Sunday playing with my kids on the floor building Lego castles, space ships, and boats... and I was having fun. Then I spent some quality time with my wife - and I, to put it simply, just lacked the motivation to leave all of that and go to the gym. I was too comfortable. And that, like any excuse, isn't a good one.

But - my wife is an excellent supporter in this endeavor of mine and urged me on towards the door and the awesome pain of Chest Day awaiting me at the YMCA.  I also have a good workout partner who keeps me accountable - even on dreaded LEG DAY!!!

And the thing is - much like my normal, social anxiety - Once I was there and doing it, I was happy. It's the getting up and going that is my stumbling point.

And that's the problem with a lot of things in life - finding the deep down, innate desire to get up, out of our comfort-zone or routine and try new things or do something difficult. It's absolutely easier to stay home, take "fat-burners", eat pizza and dream about being healthy than it is to get up, get dressed, go to the gym when it's 17 degrees out, and work hard for 90 minutes with various heavy objects.

Don't get discouraged. I know many people are just like me - impatient. Didn't see any results in 12 days? Might as well stop going to the gym!  - That's not how this works. That's not how ANY of this works. It takes 3 weeks before you might even feel a change in any aspect of your personal health or behavior, let along see one. It takes 21 days (I'm told) to form a habit. And to make a habit you need a routine. And that's why Sunday sucks so much for me. Friday and Saturday are rest days and Sunday comes and I am still resting. But that'll change - and having good reminders from family and friends helps - as does the reward of how good I feel after the gym. Well, except on the days when I go and I'm really dehydrated and I cramp up really bad in my sleep - but that's more of a personal problem LOL.

SO - go out there, form a routine, make a habit - AND BECOME THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF!!!!  Even if it takes 6 months, 6 years, 20 years, or 40 years!